Last week I had the opportunity to sit in on a panel discussion about coaching youth sports. The presenter, Joe Ehrmann, has been working with youth for years as a coach, minister, and father. The following is a summary of what Joe and his wife, Paula, are doing in the world of coaching taken from their website:
Joe and Paula Ehrmann are co-founders of Building Men and Women for Others and together they desire to inform, inspire and initiate individual, organizational and societal change that will empower men and women to be their very best personally, professionally and relationally.
Joe’s unique experience as an NFL player, child advocate, community leader, pastor, professional speaker and high school coach is coupled with Paula’s career as a professional psychotherapist who has worked with hundreds of women, men, couples and families to create a powerful and effective, other-centered growth model.
Through their Steps to Personal, Communal and Social Transformation they have designed a multi-systemic approach to transform personal beliefs, community values and public practices.
What was different about Joe’s approach is that, unlike most speakers, he does not have a product to sell; he is just trying to get the word out. He truly believes in his message of building men for other, and his avenue of coaching to do that. He believes that coaches have a legendary place in American society. Joe said, “Think about when you were in school. Personally, I cannot name but a few of my teachers, but I can name every coach, good or bad, that I ever had.”
I started to think about that, and it is true. I can name every coach that I have come in contact with throughout my years of playing soccer. The coaches that I remember most are those that took the extra time to get to know each player. “Every child needs one adult in their life to prioritize them.” says Joe.
The approach to coaching that is practiced here has five tenants (Parade Magazine, August 29, 2004):
- Recognize the “three lies of false masculinity.” – Athletic ability, sexual conquest and economic success are not the best measures of manhood.
- Allow yourself to love and be loved – Build and value relationships.
- Accept responsibility, lead courageously, and enact justice on behalf of others – Practice the concepts of empathy, inclusion and integrity.
- Learn the importance of serving others – Base your thoughts and actions on, “What can I do for you?”
- Develop a cause beyond yourself – Try to leave the world a better place because you were there.
This is a great way to coach. It does not put the focus on winning, but on relationships with your players. Winning is often a by-product of this system:
“Unless pressed for specifics, Erhmann does not even mention that [his team] Gilman High School finished three of the last six seasons undefeated and No. 1 in Baltimore.” (Parade Magazine, August 29, 2004).
This is the kind of attitude that has been practiced by camp counselors and people in the Adventure field for years. Putting your focus on each participant or camper in your group. Making each camper feel like they matter to one person in the world. You can see the difference that it makes. The thing that people in the Adventure Field have in common with the people in the Coaching field is that they all have the potential to be a hero to someone. Check out http://heroworkshop.wordpress.com/. This is a great blog about the hero’s journey and what being a hero means.
