New Camp Director for Camp Adventure

Stay tuned for a story from our new Camp Director.  He has started as of Thursday.  Once we get him settled we will start pumping him for stories.  

Conflict Resolution

Sometimes we cannot control what happens.  The students in our Adventure Based Behavior Management program often have a hard time learning this lesson.  Indeed, I would say that most people have difficulties with the notion that they are not completely in control.  If you ask someone to give us some control, you often come up against a lot of resistance.  There are countless examples of this all around you.  Take just a moment and think about your workplace, your family, and your friends.  What happens when you or someone in your social circle is asked to give up some power or control?

Yesterday I worked with a group of the students in our satellite program from Hazel Park.  We were on an element called the whale watch.  For the uninitiated, it is a giant platform that teeters back and fourth.  The challenge is to get your entire group onto the platform without either side touching the ground.  Approximately 10 of the members of the group had participated in this activity before.

We started the activity and the students started to do what comes natural to them.  They started fighting for power in the group.  One member in particular was really trying to make is voice heard.  So much so that when other members would bring up the same ideas as him, he would get frustrated and tell them that it was a stupid idea, then restate his idea with slightly different language.  Many group members quickly became frustrated with this.

Most of the members come from situations that when this power struggle starts to happen, they will either shy away or go full on into an argument.  There is no in between.  As you might be able to tell, the group quickly degenerated into six members all trying to yell over each other and the rest of the group walking away from the activity.  At one point the group was brought back together, and that is when it happened.

One of the members decided that they would go around the group and hear what everyone had to say.  When they came to one student in particular, he was able to point out directly that there was a power struggle happening and that it was not helping the group.  He was able to convince the group that if they all gave up some control, and just go with an idea, they would most likely be successful.  They all agreed, attempted the activity again, and were successful.

The whole activity took almost an hour.  It was necessary to let the conflict happen in order to allow the group to reach the point of success.  That was the power that I had to give up.  Typically when a group starts to experience conflict, I will step in and stop it.  This day, for some reason, I decided to let go of some of my control, let conflict happen, and I was rewarded with a group that was more self-sufficient at solving their own issues.

Stories - Matt Langdon

Last week I asked a question: ”Please share a story about a time when you got to see a camper or client after their time at camp or your program.”  This story is a repost from one of our writers.

My first cabin. Courtney.

I had the worst cabin of the first week. I didn’t give it that distinction, everyone else did. I wouldn’t have known what a good or bad cabin was in the first week.

Courtney was the ringleader. He was the first African-American kid I’d ever talked to as I am Australian. I had no idea about his culture, background, anything. And he knew it.

He also found great mirth in the fact that I didn’t pronounce the R in his name. So any time I tried to talk to him for his behaviour he just laughed. As did the rest of the cabin. Obviously Courtney went down in the Hall of Fame for me. For all the wrong reasons.

Then three years later I saw him in the mall and he recognized me instantly and ran over to say hi. He showed me off to his mum and friends because I was his favourite counselor ever. What? That chance visit told me everything I needed to know for the rest of my camping career.

Let’s Hear Your Stories Again…

Last week, I asked for people to share stories.  Someone suggested that I give a little more direction with that question.  So this week please share a story about a time when you got to see a camper or client after their time at camp or your program.  Talk about what it was like seeing them, and if you were able to talk about what effect you had on that persons life.  I look forward to reading them.

Let’s Hear Your Stories

For the past three weeks, I have shared some stories with you from my world.  I would like to hear some of your stories.  Please leave a story for me about a time when you were proud to be doing what you do.  This is not limited to camp counselors, I invite stories from all fields.  I look forward to reading them!

The Future of Coaching

Last week I had the opportunity to sit in on a panel discussion about coaching youth sports. The presenter, Joe Ehrmann, has been working with youth for years as a coach, minister, and father. The following is a summary of what Joe and his wife, Paula, are doing in the world of coaching taken from their website:

Joe and Paula Ehrmann are co-founders of Building Men and Women for Others and together they desire to inform, inspire and initiate individual, organizational and societal change that will empower men and women to be their very best personally, professionally and relationally.

Joe’s unique experience as an NFL player, child advocate, community leader, pastor, professional speaker and high school coach is coupled with Paula’s career as a professional psychotherapist who has worked with hundreds of women, men, couples and families to create a powerful and effective, other-centered growth model.

Through their Steps to Personal, Communal and Social Transformation they have designed a multi-systemic approach to transform personal beliefs, community values and public practices.

What was different about Joe’s approach is that, unlike most speakers, he does not have a product to sell; he is just trying to get the word out. He truly believes in his message of building men for other, and his avenue of coaching to do that. He believes that coaches have a legendary place in American society. Joe said, “Think about when you were in school. Personally, I cannot name but a few of my teachers, but I can name every coach, good or bad, that I ever had.”

I started to think about that, and it is true. I can name every coach that I have come in contact with throughout my years of playing soccer. The coaches that I remember most are those that took the extra time to get to know each player. “Every child needs one adult in their life to prioritize them.” says Joe.

The approach to coaching that is practiced here has five tenants (Parade Magazine, August 29, 2004):

• Recognize the “three lies of false masculinity.” – Athletic ability, sexual conquest and economic success are not the best measures of manhood.

• Allow yourself to love and be loved – Build and value relationships.

• Accept responsibility, lead courageously, and enact justice on behalf of others – Practice the concepts of empathy, inclusion and integrity.

• Learn the importance of serving others – Base your thoughts and actions on, “What can I do for you?”

• Develop a cause beyond yourself – Try to leave the world a better place because you were there.

This is a great way to coach. It does not put the focus on winning, but on relationships with your players. Winning is often a by-product of this system:

“Unless pressed for specifics, Erhmann does not even mention that [his team] Gilman High School finished three of the last six seasons undefeated and No. 1 in Baltimore.” (Parade Magazine, August 29, 2004).

This is the kind of attitude that has been practiced by camp counselors and people in the Adventure field for years. Putting your focus on each participant or camper in your group. Making each camper feel like they matter to one person in the world. You can see the difference that it makes. The thing that people in the Adventure Field have in common with the people in the Coaching field is that they all have the potential to be a hero to someone. Check out http://heroworkshop.wordpress.com/. This is a great blog about the hero’s journey and what being a hero means.

The Connections We Make

Connections. We make them everyday. Talking to people at work, your family, people in the grocery store (east coast readers - this is normal if you live in the mid-west). All of these are connections that we make. Often times these connections do not lead anywhere, but every now and then, you get to follow and nurture those links over the course of many months and years, and it is amazing where they can lead.

When I was in college, I worked at a camp in northern Michigan during the summers. It was a religious camp where kids would come as a part of their requirements for confirmation. The way that the camp was set up, groups of campers would be randomly assigned to cabins. What this means is, even though some groups return many years in a row, it is highly unlikely that those campers will have the same counselor more than once.

There was one group from Ann Arbor that I got in my cabin for all three summers that I was working at this camp. I would think, there is no way that I will get them again, and sure enough, there are their names on my list of campers. By the second year, I had started referring to them as “my boys.” (Thank you Chuck Klosterman). A bit possessive, I understand, but also necessary (if you cannot see how this was necessary, please read any of the one-million volumes of Chicken soup for the soul).

The third summer, when I got “my boys” again, I was excited. We went through the week and were able to build on themes that we had started when theses guys were in sixth grade. It was great. I got to watch them grow over the course of three years and now they were ready for high school. I almost felt like a parent. I never expected to see them again after that summer.

I had graduated from college and had begun my internship in Massachusetts. I was not going to be working at the camp that summer so I assumed that ‘my boys” were destined to become a fond memory. About a week after having this thought, I got a call from their youth director. She told me that they were planning a trip to Belize to do some mission work, and one of the chaperones had already paid, but was unable to go. She asked if I would like to go with them. I, of course, quickly agreed.

I got to know “my boys” even better during that two weeks working side by side with them. They were in high school now and were able to talk on a level that was more like talking to friends than campers. We began discussing the things in their lives on a more “real” level than we had done before. I got to connect with them in a different way than we had ever been able to in the past.

About a year later, after keeping in contact with “my boys” through my space and other such technological marvels, I heard that one of them, who was now a junior in high school, was having some problems. He felt out of control of his life and had started to turn to drugs in order to deal with that lack of control. Once I found out about this, I called him and asked if he wanted to go get some coffee. He reluctantly agreed, because he knew what the coffee talk was going to be about.

Over the course of many cups of almost straight caffeine, we were able to talk about his life, his feeling of having no control, and some positive ways of dealing with that that did not involve drugs. We agreed that the next step was to sit down with his parents and have a very similar conversation to the one that he and I had. This student is still struggling, but he has now opened up lines with his parents and is starting to get some clarity on his path in life.

Try not to underestimate the connections that you make in your life. You never know where that path is going to lead many years down the road. True, there is a chance that noting will come of it, but there is an equal chance that you will end up being a friend, a safety net, a role model, or a life ring. Make a connection today and see where if goes tomorrow.

Why We do What We Do

Every now and then we get a big reminder about why we do what we do. I mean, of course, why we choose a career path that will pay a maximum of $40,000 per year once you reach the upper echelons of the industry. Why we take a job that we will be working in upwards of 60 hours a week for the “prestige” of it all. Why we decide that we want to work in a field where you give every bit of yourself to make a group of people you have know for ten minutes better. It is always uncanny to me that we get these reminders at the times that we need them the most.

This past summer was my first being completely in charge of a Summer Camp. The whole experience was filled with its share of adversity. From having 150 campers (enough to fill our first three weeks) cancel due to budget cuts in the sending agency, to having two of our staff leave after staff training and never come back. Needless to say, between my Camp Director, Erik, and myself, there was a fair amount of cursing the fates under our breath (and sometimes right out loud).

We were still able to run a relatively successful summer of camp for the campers that we did have. We deal exclusively with at-risk and financially disadvantaged youth. The kids who are typically sent home from other camps are our bread and butter. We are able to offer these students something that other camps cannot. Specialized training of our counselors, Adventure Therapy, and smaller groups sizes allow us to manage problems that arise in a more constructive way than most camps. Never was this more apparent than our last week of the 2007 season.

We had a camper, Jamie (not her actual name), come to us from out of state. Jamie was staying with her aunt for the summer and that family was sending their two kids to camp. Jamie’s aunt contacted us to find out if she could send this Jamie as well as her kids, but indicated that neither her nor Jamie’s family could afford the cost of the camp. We allowed Jamie to come on scholarship so that she could spend the week with her cousins.

Through the course of this week, Jamie gave us more than her share of problems. She was verbally abusive, closed off, and angry for most of the week. At one point she began cutting. It was nothing serious, just using a nail and not even breaking the skin, but it was enough to cause alarm. One of the other campers noticed this and alerted the counselor, who then brought it to the attention of Erik and myself. Jamie denied that anything like that had ever happened. In the course of talking with the other kids in her cabin, we came to believe that the story was accurate, and that Jamie had talked about committing suicide.

Our camp is located on the grounds of an agency called Crossroads for Youth. This is a residential treatment facility for At-Risk youth. Crossroads employs a team of therapists to work with their clients during their stay. Thanks to this situation, we were able to allow Jamie to have a one on one confidential meeting with a therapist. After this meeting, Jamie indicated that she was feeling so much better and would like to continue her week at camp. She said, “I just needed someone to talk to.”

We called Jamie’s mother and aunt to let them know what was happening, and they were able to get advice on how to handle the situation from our therapist. This was one of those clear reminders about why we do what we do.

We were able to offer help to a camper that was struggling with a lot of issues in her life. Did we magically change everything and now she is fine? The short answer is no. What we were able to do is plant a seed. We were able to let her know that there are people who will listen, and people who care. We were able to show her that there are ways of working on your problems without hurting yourself. Most important, we were able to get Jamie’s family involved in that healing process. I like to believe that we have some influence on the lives around us. That Friday, as Jamie left and promised us that she would ask for the help she needed, I really saw that influence in action.